for nex

who should still be here today

i am grateful you didn’t die there.
i’m grateful their hands, that floor,
were not the last things this life
had to offer you. 

you are better than any of them
could ever hope to be. 
they could not face their smallness 
in the mirror. they could not scrub
their cowardice from their hands.
they could not contend with you
in all your light, your ability to be
and be unabashedly. 

wherever you are, i hope you feel this: 
that night, your family tucking you
into bed. again and again. an eternity
of softness, unending, and the music
of all of us around the world, singing
your name to the moon, wishing you
the sweetest of dreams.