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A belated book update!

I FINALLY SENT THE MANUSCRIPT FOR “THE WEEDS GROW ANYWAY” TO THE PRINTER. FOR THE BIG ORDER. THE “OK IT'S READY PLEASE PRINT A WHOLE LOT OF COPIES” ORDER.

Edit: I actually wrote a lot of this post last Monday (April 14) and then got nervous about sending it because I was embarrassed at how long the fanatical tinkering of the manuscript took. I have gotten over my embarassment, so I’m sending it now. Since then, I have bound 100 books! With more to come.

Last Monday’s Update:

I am currently screaming internally. And maybe a little bit externally as well.

I forget I am human, and therefore, multi-faceted. One such facet feels very capable, efficient, and confident. It can’t imagine being weighed down by silly things like self-doubt, lack of energy, chronic illness, existential dread, or paying bills. I love this facet and would love to see it more often. That said, it can’t be trusted when it comes to creating project timelines, as it does not like to acknowledge the anxious perfectionist part of me, the part that can fanatically tinker and toil away at everything: wording, order, margins and spacing, even the table of contents, all to try and avoid the consequences of human imperfection. This is the facet that figured I’d have the book released by last summer, fall at the latest. That idea is laughable now.

I sent an imperfect manuscript to the printer. Its imperfection is as inevitable as its completion, as I refuse to let down the amazing people who have supported me by preordering the book.

(Admittedly, I first sent it yesterday (Sunday) and then at 4am I sent an updated manuscript because I woke up at 3am clutched by terror. Fighting perfectionism is a process, which I am still very much in the midst of.)

But now, with printing underway, I can say the contents of the book are capital-D-Done. And I am so glad.

I am going to continue work on the next phases of this project:

• Preparing the ebook for release later this summer

• Practicing narrating the poems for when I record the audiobook later this month.

• Promotion of the release show.

And after the printed copies are ready for pickup:

• Binding + Trimming + Sleeving the books

• Sharing The Book with my community at the release show on June 27th (would love to see you there!)

• Shipping The Book to everyone who couldn’t come to the show!

Current Update (Wednesday, April 23rd)

I picked up the books last Thursday and have been binding up a storm ever since! It feels good to see them all stacked up, ready for the next steps in the process. I should have them bound by the end of this week, and I can then trim them and affix the covers in the weeks following.

How it Started vs. How It’s Going!

It is interesting to see the ways my own self-criticism has gotten between me and the work of sharing this process. I’ve taken a lot of videos, photos, and notes as I’ve worked on the book, and while I manage to share some of the process snippets, I find myself applying my own self-judgements on things. “I shouldn’t still be working on this step of the process,” “People are going to be annoyed the book is taking so long,” etc. etc.

Then I have lucid moments where I realize I’m my own worst critic, and we’re all going through life, often too concerned about our own imperfections to worry about the imperfections of others. All we can do is move forward. And now that the books are printed and I no longer have to angst about the poems within them, moving forward is happening a whole lot faster than before.

Thanks for reading my imperfect post about my imperfect progress on my imperfect book. I am genuinely very excited to share it with you.

Release show RSVPs will be open very soon. Stay tuned for an email with the link to save your seat at the show.

In the meantime,